We Call It Love
Posted: Monday, February 14, 2011
by George Stay
We call it "love" when we mean "like."
We call it "love" when it’s just a crush.
We call it "love" when it’s animal lust.
We call it "love" when we mean "he’s hot."
We call it "love" when we mean "she’s cool."
We call it "love" when talking of our favorite food.
We call it "love" when we honor our parents.
We call it "love" when there’s no score in tennis.
We call it "love" to get us to buy something ("you’ll just love the way your hair feels and looks").
We call it "love" when we don’t know what else to say.
We call it "love" when we have nothing else to say.
We call it "love" when we think that’s what it must be.
We call it "love" when we assume that’s what must come next.
We call it "love" when we aren’t sure what we are feeling.
We call it "love" when it is just sex.
We call it "love" when it’s just security and safety.
We call it "love" when it's really control and abuse.
We call it "love" when it’s just an escape from loneliness.
We call it "love" when we talk about cars.
We call it "love" even when our hearts just aren’t in it.
So when we finally say "I love you" to the one person on the planet for whom we were created, the four-letter middle word in that sentence is so overworked and tired that it can’t possibly carry the tremendous emotions meant to go from one heart to another. And the ears, heart and head hearing that three-word sentence have become so confused by the numerous uses of "love" that she(he) hearing it isn’t sure what it means anymore.
And yet no sentence, no phrase, no expression carries a more important or more vital message. For when we do finally say "I love you" to that one person, that heart that beats with ours, that person who fits us like Yin fits Yang, we are handing them our all, our totality. We lay before them our heart, body, mind and soul, giving them everything we were, we are and we ever will be. It is a tremendous risk, the gamble of a lifetime. And we are theirs for a lifetime. Even if they reject us, they retain a kind of ownership over us that they can exercise at any time.
If, however, they love us as much as we love them, if they, too, say "I love you" with their entire heart, then there are no risks, no gambles, nothing left to chance. Then that middle word, so abused and so misused and sent on so many fruitless and fickle missions, is the strongest, gentlest, sweetest, most powerful, most important and most true word ever spoken.
And we are the fortunate ones. For when we call it "love," it really is.
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More commentsFrom what we call love as per your description, I can just realize that love can be only love in its purest form, no matter how we misinterpret the feeling in so many ways. Finally, no matter how we interpret it, we are all looking for love, but most of us haven't yet found love in its purest form. Thank you for giving us something to ponder upon.You constantly make me think, DM. Even with this comment. Yes, I suppose I am talking of love in its purest form, a form not unlike those you speak of finding in the many mystics of your life. Except this love is for just that one single person for whom you were created. Still, I hope also one day to encounter someone who has love for all people and all of creation. Thanks, as always, for reading and commenting.As I said George, Love is love just like pain is pain, but it comes through different ways. :-) Similarly, we interpret or see love through abstract forms till we learn to see it in the infinite, and sure even between two lovers it can be seen as infinite and pure. :-)
By your writing, George, one can tell that you are one of the fortunate who have grabbed the brass ring of love in this lifetime---I agree that one little word we use to describe feelings stronger than like or affection; is overworked. I think it needs a helper word to designate each kind of love we feel...we usually just say "REAL LOVE" when we're talking about that epitomic love between a man and a woman. In that, we usually know what it's not more than we know what it is....until we have empirical experience with it....Then we know. in that place where we all know things.... good interesting article George- I enjoyed it- Thanks- Always- EllaYes, Ella, I agree. So much of life, it seems, is discovering what love is not, and less about discovering what it is. I think I have always known what it should be like, but had never found it. And, yes, I think we need to add something to "love" to signify that one love for which we all were created. Thanks for your thoughts and for reading.
Nice one George. I'm hoping this means you've found it? Hope all is well. - Brianna -Thanks, Brianna, for commenting. All is, well, all that it is. I appreciate you taking the time to read this and to comment.
Very good points; "love" has become a worm replacement for "like" and "like" is used by the shy to really mean "love".You know, Matteo, you are right about that. We don't often say what we really mean, choosing instead to hide behind words of similar, but slightly different meanings. Maybe if we could be more honest with each other from the start, things would go much smoother. Thanks for reading and commenting.
Hi George, you've pretty well lined it up properly. But don't worry, the day will come with you as it has to me. Love no longer means all those other things. When I tell my wife at night that I love her, she knows I mean it and when she returns the phrase, I know she means it. And when one of my fiftyish daughters tells me "I love you Daddy" I have to choke up and shed a tear. I enjoyd you article very much.Thanks, Joel, for reading and for speaking about your own experiences. I, too, know that the love I feel for my parents differs from the love I feel for a woman. And yet they both are very strong and very powerful emotions. Hey, I get choked up when I tell my parents that I love them, so know that your daughters probably do too.((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))) from all of your fiftyish daughters, daddy! :-)
It seems like you are very much in love George. Well, I can see that you are just a very lovable person. :-)Thanks, Rose. I don't know how lovable I am, but, let's just say, I want to be. Thanks for reading this and for commenting. I truly appreciate it.
George, I agree with you, it is a much abused word. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.Thanks, Lorrie. Even with all of the abuse, however, it remains an effective and potent word, capable of such powerful feeling, when spoken to the right person.
Love is a many splendored thing. I just love to say that.:-) Nice article George.Yes, David, it is. Thanks for saying it again, and for reading and commenting on this.
Your article is well written. There is also the emotional sense in saying the word LOVE that further carries it's actual meaning.Chris, you are right, so very right. I guess it is the emotions that love is asked to carry that sometimes are too much, too heavy for such a small word to carry. Thanks for reading and for commenting.
Very well thought out observations but you forgot "we call it love when it is chocolate" English is sometimes lacking, isn't it?Good catch, Marijo. Yes, you are right. I "love" chocolate too. Especially chocolate ice cream. Yes, our language does sometimes lack the depth, breadth and accuracy of other languages. But it is all ours, isn't it? Thanks for reading and for commenting.
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